How Can You Best Handle Holiday Custody?
Setting up a holiday time-sharing schedule is difficult for many divorcing couples. Understandably, it would be challenging for any parent to accept that they may not be around their children for the entire holiday season. Holiday custody is not something people have to consider or deal with before divorce.
If you don’t know where to begin during divorce or want to change your current parent plan, we can help. The family law attorneys at C. Alvarez Law can guide you during and after the divorce process.
The Importance of Holiday Time-sharing Schedules
Before we get into the time-sharing schedules you and your family should consider, it is crucial to take care of certain issues first. Certain things need to be addressed regarding holiday time sharing as soon as they come up. The last half of December is busy for everyone, and this should not be put off to ensure that your attorney and possibly the court have time to address the issues.
Additionally, as a parent, you want to ensure that you provide your children with a peaceful holiday they will remember and cherish when they are older.
1. Coordinating Holiday Plans with Your Ex-Spouse
Effective co-parenting starts with open communication. Discuss your holiday plans early, and try to compromise on arrangements that work for both of you. Many divorced parents use a rotating schedule – alternating holidays each year – while others divide special days.
For example, some parents agree to have the children on Christmas morning, and others have them during Christmas dinner. The key is to prioritize what works best for the children while maintaining fairness.
If the relationship with your ex is tense, consider using written forms of communication such as emails or co-parenting apps. These tools can keep the conversation focused on logistics and reduce misunderstandings.
2. Balancing Children’s Expectations
Holidays are meaningful for children, so their feelings and traditions should be your first priority as always. Children may have expectations from past family holidays, and changing things can be full of emotions. Discuss the new holiday plans with them in advance and encourage them to share their feelings openly.
Help children understand that the holidays will look different now but can still be enjoyable. Remind your children that they’ll spend time with both of their parents during the holidays.
3. Creating New Traditions & Keeping New Ones
One of the joys of this transition is the opportunity to create fresh, meaningful traditions while keeping others. Think of activities your children typically look forward to, whether it’s baking cookies, watching favorite movies, or going on a holiday outing. Keeping certain older traditions alive can also provide comfort and continuity, helping children feel grounded during this transition.
4. Dealing with Extended Family Gatherings
Extended family gatherings present an added layer of complexity. You’ll need to decide how to split time between both sides of the family. Be realistic about what the children can handle. Extended family gatherings that were tough before the divorce will be even tougher with a time-sharing schedule.
If possible, work with extended family members to adjust traditions, find new ways to celebrate or set limits and expectations with extended family members.
5. What Are You Unwilling to Budge On For Holiday Custody?
After you schedule a meeting with our attorney, ask yourself what is most important to you. Consider the other parent’s wishes and identify where you can bend. Although we acknowledge that not everyone celebrates Christmas, some people may be set on wanting to be with their kids on Christmas morning.
However, it is highly likely that your spouse also covets that time. To get that time, both sides may have to compromise. For instance, you can split up the winter break. One parent gets the first half, the other receives the second—and each year flips.
Unfortunately, that means one parent gets Christmas, and the other gets New Year’s. The upside is that you will get an entire week with your kids and have them on Christmas morning every other year.
6. Stop Looking at the Short-Term With Your Time-Sharing Schedule
Take the time to consider whether this plan will work for you and your family over the long term. Be specific about the details. Regardless of how you choose to divide your time with the children, where and when will pick up and drop off be?
If you live far apart, what will you do if the weather prevents you from getting your kids? Fortunately, it doesn’t often snow here in Florida, but some co-parents don’t live in the same state.
Another invaluable tip is accepting that you and your spouse may remarry. Is your current plan flexible enough to accommodate the needs that go along with bringing other people into your situation? Your future partners may have their own traditions and plans for the holidays.
If your current plan is to get the kids on Christmas morning and your former spouse gets them in the afternoon, that may be too rigid and limiting. You should consider and discuss these issues with your attorney.
Meet with a Family Law Attorney to Finalize Your Holiday Time-Sharing Schedule
For all of our clients, both present and future, take a look at your parenting plan and ensure it meets your expectations for the holidays. If it doesn’t, commit to contacting us at the beginning of December. If you have questions or concerns, contact C. Alvarez Law to schedule a strategy session.
C. Alvarez Law
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